Mike Saperstein has written numerous personal songs over the years to honor various friends and other individuals. Many are documented here. I am attempting to recover more, and will add them as I find them.
Eric Lowrey: "Z-I-N-J-A-N" (Note: Second verse written and added later by Chris Bove)
Z-I-N-J-A-N is his name and his smile's a mile wide!
Z-I-N-J-A-N is his name and he wears that name with pride!
When you're bored he'll be sure to give a thrill!
Like he did when he played guard at Belmont Hill!
He'll carry you across the great divide;
Let Z-I-N-J-A-N be your guide!!!
Z-I-N-J-A-N is his name and his calves are big and strong!
Z-I-N-J-A-N is his name, watch him drive that ball real long!
When you're starved he'll be sure to give a thrill!
When he's flipping over burgers on the grill!
He's a buddy who is always on your side;
Let Z-I-N-J-A-N be your guide!!
Chris Bove: Hammer, Hammer, Hammer!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer! Tall and light and lean!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer! Strong as a machine!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer! Always in control!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer usually putts it in the hole!
In Atari, or Earl Weaver, or Ughlympics, great at games of skill!
In a conflict, or dilemma, times of crisis, has an iron will!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer! Plays the bass guitar!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer! Sure to be a star!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer! Looks good every night!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer! Loves to underwrite!
In his Honda, or the Mustang, or the golf tee, love the way he drives!
It's not even a festive occasion, it's not a party 'til Hammer arrives!!
Keith Loud: "The Rowd"
Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's so tall dark and Rowd, and he never succumbs to mistakes!
Rowd, he's the Rowd, Real American Rowd, as he skates by us on Mystic Lakes!
Rowd, he's the Rowd, undeniably Rowd, as he puts on the bar-be-cue steaks...
Oh Rowd! Rowd! We all are proud that you've got everything that it takes!!
(Note: Eric Lowrey could not remember all the words to the Rowd song, and often sang it as follows. This is now known as "The Zin version of the Rowd song"
Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd...
Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd!
Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd, he's the Rowd...
Oh Rowd! Rowd! R-O-W-D, that's why we call him The Rowd!
Mr. Loud (Note: Written ad-hoc by Eric Lowrey)
Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud...
Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud...
Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud, Mister Loud...
Oh Loud! Loud! L-O-W-D, that's why we call his Mr. Loud!
Mike Bongiorno
All hail to Mike Bongiorno! He's a guy who's on the go!
He's brighter than a lantern! He's the tallest man I know!
He brings good cheer without drinking beer, and so to him we say:
Three cheers for Mike Bongiorno! Mike Bongiorno, hooray!!
All hail to Mike Bongiorno! He's the best there's ever been!
He's worshipped by the Hammer! He's a superstar to Zin!
He's turned his house into a home, at work he is a star!
Three cheers for Mike Bongiorno! Mike Bongiorno, huzzah!!
Chris Emmi
She comes from Canistota, which she loves I'll bet...
Daughter of 'The Duke', someone I've never met
When she looked at schools they all asked "Where will she go?"
Kept alive tradition when she chose Oswego.
Got a job at D&B, then one day promotion called,
She knew she would have to leave, Syracuse was way too small...
Syracuse to Framingham
To come to work with Zin and Dan
Moving up to blaze a trail!
Though she hated my voice mail
Oh Chris Emmi, you're someone
Who makes each day a bit more fun
I think of all I could have missed
Thank you for being there, Chris!
In Deerfield Forest she's now on the right track
When she's bored she'll take a bottle from her wine rack
She shoots the breeze with Peggy 'til long after dark
And listens to her tapes like "Biko" and "MacArthur Park".
She likes to party an awful lot, though not drinks that are very strong
She'll always have a jello shot at Dad's, The Boathouse, or the Hong Kong...
Syracuse to Framingham
Friends with Heidi, not with Pam
Moving up to blaze a trail!
Though she hated my voice mail
Oh Chris Emmi, you're someone
Who makes each day a bit more fun
I think of all I could have missed
Thank you for being there, Chris!
The 'Cuse's loss is Boston's gain
A flash of sunlight through the rain
I think of all I could have missed
Thank you for being there, Chris!
Elise Loukas (Note: Written to be sung in show tune style by Eric Lowrey/Zin and Mike Saperstein/Bod)
Zin (spoken): Bod, do you remember the time when we worked at Abt and we hated it so much, 'cause it was so boring, and then one day...
Bod (spoken): Oh no, not again... OK Zin, tell me the story again...
Zin (spoken): All right, Bod, since you insist:
Zin:
One day when I woke up
I said to myself, "Oh no!
How bad will today be at work?"
And I got in my car to go
But then something happened to brighten my day
There was magic in the air
That day at Abt Associates
Was the best that I spent there...
When I first met Elise
It hit like a ton of bricks
When I first heard her speak
I thought, "Geez, this girl is sick."
But she was so special it can't be explained
How she made the sun shine bright
When I first met Elise
Was the first time I saw light...
Bod (spoken): Oh Z, stop being so melodramatic about it. I remember the first time I met Elise:
Bod:
When I first met Elise
I was very much impressed
She went without a bra
And she still filled out her dress
But that isn't what I remember the most
When I think about that phase
When I think of her then
I thought, "Boy, she's in a daze!"
Zin (spoken): Bod, calm down. It wasn't all like that. Think how quickly she improved in your opinion:
Zin:
She talked of U of C
And was always real assertive
When we went to the Sox
She would find some fans to flirt with
And then for some reason she figured me out
And began to understand...
She was a pretty girl
And she still liked Wonderland!
Bod (spoken): And what about when she made her dramatic return into my life ?
Bod:
One day another summer
Two years had since gone by
I hadn't seen Elise
Though I don't really know why...
I never expected what soon would transpire
In a gathering of friends
I turned to see Elise
With a lovely pair of: Jens
She now was so direct
And she also could be very
Timely in her thoughts
Like she was in Pictionary
And then she decided that she would pursue
Her degree in the field of law
I thought to myself, "Elise
Is the most unusual I ever saw."
Together:
Chicago, Miami, Albania
Why not to Greece ?
Will wonders never cease ?
Elise! Elise!
Zin:
And maybe someday soon
She'll return back home again
Bod:
And maybe when she does
I'll get hooked up with her friends!
Zin:
I wish she'd come back and eat my M&Ms
And get drunk on just one beer
Together:
One thing about Elise,
Things are better when she's here!
Things are better when she's here!
(Note: The following additional verse was written in 1997, roughly 7 years after the original song)
Zin:
And now she goes to court
And her opponents are sure to lose
Bod:
And guys always ask her out,
'Cause they know she won't refuse!
Zin:
She loves her apartment on Miami Beach
And she frequents the hot spots
Bod:
And sometimes she just stays home...
Together:
Where she paints her flower pots!
Marne Herzer
Marne - Comes from the midwest
Marne - Who would've ever guessed
Saw Keith Loud in Physics Class
And even though his kids could never pass
Marne - Easily passed the test!
Marne - Loves to rollerblade
Marne - Sandra Dee she played
Has such pretty eyes and straight white teeth
Used to live with Tanya, then with Keith
Marne - You really make the grade!
Marne, you really make the grade!
Wendy Bargoil
Who's got brains and beuty too ? W!
Who went to Kingswood then S.U. ? W!
Friends with Zin, she's never lonely!
Went to Disney -- Epcot only
Who's a great friend through and through ? W!
Who does Charlie love to see ? W-E!
Who plays golf and likes to ski ? W-E!
Likes to eat in the North End
Scott's her guy, Dave's just a friend
Who always plays "Tenacious D" ? W-E!
Who gawkes at virtually all men ? W-E-N!
Who likes to rate herself a ten ? W-E-N!
Loves the way the Cowboys play
Likes Phish, Shoot the Moon, and Green Day
Who calls "The Gymnast" her best friend ? W-E-N!
Who works hard at D&B ? W-E-N-D!
Who uses IBM PC ? W-E-N-D!
Loved by al from 8 to 80
Shot girl at "The Russian Lady"
Who'd be a Patriette for free ? W-E-N-D!
Who's got a Dad whose name is Sty ? W-E-N-D-Y!
Who likes to flirt with every guy ? W-E-N-D-Y!
Really friendly, somewhat loud
Brown eyes, black hair, well-endowed
She's tremendous! My oh my! W-E-N-D-Y!
Erin Kelly
Now here's a little ditty of someone from D&B
A standout from the crowd who's always been friendly to me
Somebody who prefers her shots to Harp or Guiness Stouts
Whenever she walks in a room most everybody shouts:
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
Smiling and laughing and full of good cheer!
All in the party should drink from their beer!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
Now she never misses Star Trek and she loves to close a bar down
She's awesome at a tailgate and she knows her stuff in Chinatown
She likes her Irish music but she also enjoys rock
She once went to Alaska and she also once had jaw lock!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
Always so friendly and really quite dear!
All in the party should drink from their beer!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
As Irish as they come she'd like to kiss the Blarney Stone
And since she dumped Mike Carney, she's complained that she's alone
In spite of all her whining I'm not sorry for this kid;
She said she'd hook me up with friends, alas she never did!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
Wants a new guy who looks like Richard Gere!
All in the party should drink from their beer!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
There never is a time she won't be laughing and a-smilin'
Her friendly attitude's made her the pride of all Rhode Island!
And every year, St. Patrick's Day, she's thought of near and far
It's only 'cause of her that people shout "Erin Go Brah!"
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
Let go of your worries, there's nothing to fear!
All in the party should drink from their beer!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
Everyone's better whenever she's near!
All in the party should drink from their beer!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
She dressed up as a lion but was not the wicked witch
She hangs with Chris and Peggy, and with Kristen and Sue Belovitch
And though she never calls me, I don't take it as a snub...
'Cause someday soon we'll have a round at Kelly's Corner Pub!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!
Smiling and laughing and full of good cheer!
Everyone toast her and drink from your beer!
Hey, hey, Erin is here!!!
Kelli Docteur
She was a hippie in her high-school days, but now she's only hip
She'll indulge in cookies or in pancakes if they're chocolate chip
And she dominated soccer, so it only did make sense
When they gave out trophies at the end she won for "Best Defense"
When they chose a select All-Star team, you know she was selected high!
When two guys proposed to her, you know they were rejected by:
Kelli! Kelli!
Kelli! Kelli!
She attended college at LeMoyne and everybody knows
That the best time she had there was when she roomed with sister Rose
Then she left her home from Albany, and it somehow came to pass
That she'd live amongst the witches when she moved to Salem, Mass
She surprised me with an e-mail and I thought "My oh my....
There's more to her than meets the eye!" That's
Kelli! Kelli!
Kelli! Kelli!
And she loved her job at C&L, it's never-ending bliss
'Cause most every minute of the day she gets to hang with Chris!
She accompanied us to Syracuse, who Boston College beat
And she has an old friend Trixie who the Hammer wants to meet
I'm so grateful that I've met
Someone who won't place a bet, and that's
Kelli! Kelli!
Kelli! Kelli!
She can have an equally good time at church or at a bar
She can zip all over Boston, 'cause she just got a new car
She's the type of girl you introduce to parents on a date
I can't say enough about her 'cause she's absolutely great!
She's so calm, kind, sweet, and pure
A real All-American girl next door! That's
Kelli! Kelli!
Kelli! Kelli!
Bill Stewart
I won't often sing many praises of a guy, 'cause it's not my style.
I don't want people talking as if I'm weird, or to see me and give me a stupid smile.
But there is one man who is strong and brave, and to him my praise is due,
There's nary a man who's a man in the world that could be just like Bill Stu!
Now Stu is a man who I met because he worked at D&B.
And he always hung out with the real men there, that's Lowrey, Forbes, and Dockerty.
And they thought that'd he'd stay there forever, but one day he bid adieu...
And every man who's a man in the world wants to be just like Bill Stu!
And at his new job he demonstrates the quickness of his brain.
He has put to good use all the things he learned when he went to U of Maine!
He can make job hunters smile and laugh even when they're feeling blue...
And every man who's a man in the world wants to be just like Bill Stu!
He's so tall, he's the ultimate fantasy in every woman's dream!
And you never will lose another game if he's on your softball team!
He's the one who's the choice when you need someone to help to get you through...
And every man who's a man in the world wants to be just like Bill Stu!
Oh, "Stu! Stu! Stu! Stu!" as he drinks six kegs of beer!
"Stu! Stu! We love you!" women chant whenever he comes near...
He can do anything - he'll turn coal to gold if you just ask him to...
And every man who's a man in the world wants to be just like Bill Stu!
I could go on for hours with stories of his magic and his might.
In the morning or the evening, he's an afternoon delight!
So I tip my hat, oh wondrous one, thank you for being you!
There's nary a man who'se a man in this world that could be just like Bill Stu!
Who ?
Stu!
Judy Leo: "She's the Jude"
Even though she's a girl, she's still a dude! Yeah, She's the Jude!
Not too fat, but she still likes good food! She's the Jude!
At her job she counts the money that others have accrued. She's the Jude!
If she ever stole some she'd be booed! Yeah, She's the Jude!
Hangs out with Zinjan, and the Bod!
Spends too much time down on Cape Cod!
Like Deb Trian, also Nance
In Atlantic City she really loves the games of chance...
Jude! Jude! Jude! We salute your style!
You even make the long trip to Nahant more worthwhile!
Jude! Jude! Jude! A tremendous friend!
I only wish you'd finally try to hook me up again!
Now most of the time she's in a good mood. She's the Jude!
She goes with Mike Bongiorno who she wooed. She's the Jude!
She'd rather hang out with ravishing Rick Rude! She's the Jude!
But she keeps Mike around just in case she's ever sued! She's the Jude!
Thinks that her sister's a bit of a flake!
Likes The Ultimate, doesn't trust The Snake.
Sometimes listens to Hall and Oates
And when she ever wins debates with Mike she really, really gloats!
Jude! Jude! Jude! We salute your style!
You even make the long trip to Nahant more worthwhile!
Jude! Jude! Jude! A tremendous friend!
I only wish you'd finally try to hook me up again!
Now she's never been accused of being too much of a prude. Yeah, She's the Jude!
She still gets upset when the Hammer gets too lewd. Yeah, She's the Jude!
Not misunderstood or misconstrued. Yeah, She's the Jude!
In all the time I've known her we've only had one feud! She's the Jude!
Jude! Jude! Jude! We salute your style!
You even make the long trip to Nahant more worthwhile!
Jude! Jude! Jude! A tremendous friend!
I only wish you'd finally try to hook me up!
Hal Zemel: "Hal of a Guy" (Note: This is only a partial version, the final line of the chorus.)
He's a friend, he's a pal, he's a Hal of a Guy!
Ed Leo (Note: Written ad-hoc)
Ed Leo, Ed Leo! Ed Leo, Ed Leo!
Yolanda Actis (on her 100th Birthday, "Yolanda the Beautiful")
(Part 1: Arlene and Marge, her 2 daughters)
So beautifully you cared for us
With love and lullibies
You were strong, taught right from wrong,
And how to live our lives!
Yolanda! Yolanda!
We send our love to thee!
For all your good sweet motherhood
We love you endlessly!
(Part 2: Yolanda's Grandkids)
When anybody needed help
You'd do all that you could!
A role model for all of us
In bad times and in good!
Oh Nana! Oh Nana!
Each day we think of you!
For all your good grand-motherhood
We love you through and through!
(Part 3: Yolanda's Great-Grandkids and Great-Great-Grandkids)
And now you have 8 great-grandkids
And great-great grandkids too!
You're always so inspiring!
There's nobody like you!
Oh Nana! Oh Nana!
You're "Great" to us it's true!
For all your Great-Grandmotherhood
Oh Nana, we love you!
(Part 4: Everyone)
A mainstay at Epiphany
You have us all impressed!
The pride of the Excelsior,
And now South City's Best!
Oh Nana! Oh Nana!
For everything you do...
We send our cheers! 100 years!
Oh Nana, we love you!
